What a Strapper

Burn the Bird WOD
Strength:Pike push ups on the box 1-1-1-1-1
Metcon:
15 Pike Push ups
400m Run
15 Pullups
12 Pike Push ups
15 Pullups
400m Run
12 Pullups
9 Pike Push ups
400m Run
9 Pullups

FRAN + Burn the Bird = Arms that don't fully extend over your head.

I'm not kidding. I'm laying in bed with my littles and I can barely move these rubberbands I used to call arms. I overslept for the 9am WOD today by the Grace of God. It's bench pressing. Not sure if I could bench press a pencil right now. I'm craving a stretch but it hurts to move.

Yesterday's WOD was pretty cool. The list you see above was subbed of course. Rxd was HSPUs and weighted pull ups, and the beasts that completed that were nothing short of hot-hot-hot. I finished in 11:46 and was happy with that.

On the last round last set of nine pull ups, I returned from my sprint to find my purple band gone. I walked around in a circle confused, not sure what to do, knowing the clock was ticking, when Kellz pointed to the highest pull up bar. Someone moved my pull up band from the low bar (where I need a box to get in it), to the high bar. After a very subtle, "WHAT THE FUCK?" I asked for Warren's help to get on the higher bar and banged out the last nine.

My anger at losing 7 or so seconds and someone moving my band surprised me. The mover in question was a newbie, who wanted to use the band and had no idea that it was not Paleo to move someone's equipment in the middle of the workout. Poor guy will not do that again. If he comes back.

Best part was I thought Darius was the culprit. He occupied my original spot, spread out like a tattooed eagle doing textbook weighted pullups. I took one look at him and screamed, "Yo pretty boy, did you move my band?" Of course, he laughed in reponse.

I'm so frustrated that I need that stupid thing to begin with. That's probably why the anti-Erin reared her ugly mouth. I am on the last color in the blasted rainbow series, and there is one more thinner purple before I leave that strap forever. I want to be done with it by April 12, my 37th birthday. That is, if i can move my arms by then.

I missed the 9, the 10 just started, so today it's a WOD of my own creation. I am heading to the Art Museum to Rocky up and down the steps. I will let these useless appendages hang while my powerhouse quads do all the work. After that--a long run too.

I invited my partner in everything Crossfit and Criminal to go with me. Kto's response, a very simple five letter Facebook post. "Fthat."

If I could reach the phone on my nightstand, I'd text her back a very original hahahaha. But alas, I am stuck here in my bed, with only my legs to drive me through the day. Pray that I find the recover enough to hold my beers tomorrow!

Sidebar: I know my hot ginger-snap date will gladly hold my pint while I drink it through a straw. GO EAGLES!