BREAKFAST OF BRAINLESS CHAMPIONS

I picked the headless box pic for this post because I was without my ever-loving mind to get up this morning at 6am to Crossfit. It must be Monday. I must be trying to make up for a slack week. I must be completely brainless.

Just kidding. But not really.

I absolutely love training with Erin D, better known as Erin-1, so the pain was worth it. But man was it cold and damp at 6:30am when I left the house! I skipped my usual coffee for fear of listening to it slosh around my empty stomach and burping it up while I was doing burpees. I have made that mistake before at a weekend open gym, and man it ain't pretty. With the exception of extremely loud music, sound effects in the gym are useless. Unless of course, they come from my boy Timmy Carr.

WOD

Buy In: Renegade Rows 15lbs, 10 reps

AMRAP, 20 minutes

25 burpees

15 95lb. back squats

I surprised myself with the buy in. A renegade row is a full push up but upon extension, you must complete a full row with each arm. One and one was one, which in the CF world means you have to complete the rep on both sides for it to count as one. I completed 5 with minimal pain, took a breather, and completed the last 5. For most people, this would not be a great feat, but I have the upper body strength of my Grandmother, who has been dead for 7 years now. I'm working on it.

Lower body is a different story. I was going to attempt to use 115lbs. for the back squat, but after seeing one rep at 95lbs., I knew that I was where I needed to be. Rx'd weight on the backsquat was bodyweight, but I would have put up one round if I attempted that.

Erin put me in the cage, which was super cool and made me feel extremely diesel. I have only seen Pat and Darius in there, and at the time, both were looking all kinds of ripped while backsquatting multiple times their body weight. Shirtless. Now that I'm sweating more that I did this am, back to the WOD.

It was a son of a mother squatting bitch. The first burpees were close to impossible. Not sure why. Maybe it was the time of day, my lack of activity the week prior or the multiple beverages I consumed on Saturday night. It's any one's guess. And yes, Steve, I know what your guess is, so no need to post. CF first, AA later.

The backsquats were actually fun. I completed them in three sets of 5 and never failed. I burned the hell out of my legs, and I enjoyed every rep. Holding my breath makes all the difference. This portion of the WOD was my rest. Erin said my backsquats were "ass to grass." I'm very proud of my mobility, one of the few things I get to actually show off at my gym with all the bionical twenty-somethings running around.

I ended up one backsquat shy of four rounds. Out out damn water spot! I took too many drink breaks, and as Erin counted down the final seconds, it became painfully aware that I was going to be a down-up away. I completed the last rep for good measure but was disappointed. Four full rounds was my mental goal.

I laid on the ground for some time to recover. My comrades were cleaning up their weights and chatting about the WOD, but I worked on my sweat angel for a good 7 minutes. This is my favorite part about Crossfit. I'm addicted to the afterglow. And much like when doing the real deal, I don't want any talking, snuggling or touching immediately after. Maybe just a big swig of water and the bathroom before hauling myself up and moving on with my day. (Unless the trainer-o-the-day is going to call for another round. I'm always up for a big buyout or invisible chairsit.)

It was nice to be done before the day even started. It was even better to return home, eager to jump in the shower but distracted by the young stud waiting under the covers. He was warm, he was delicious, and he was so happy to see me. I wrapped my arms around him, my hair still wet with sweat, smelled his sweet neck and drifted back to sleep.

It was a super clean diet day too! Paleo and sugar-booze free, with one orange as a mid-morning snack. Over 120 grams of protein consumed. I feel very good tonight and am going to have ten hours of sleep for dessert.

Getting up at the crack of dawn for my sweaty session was not brainless after all. My breakfast included 100 burpees, 59 backsquats and the love of a good Jack. On that note, I bid you good night, and I set my alarm for 7:30 am.